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The Ian Gill Fund

So I will be driving John's piece to New York next week. We are hopefully leaving on Wednesday but maybe Thursday. Pretty much everything is paid for except for food and a place to sleep. It would be nice if we could find people to stay with along the road but we are driving long days and will probably get to where we would stay for the night around 10 or 11 at night. It would feel sort of strange arriving at someones house that you don't even know that late and then leave in the morning around 6am. It seems a bit rude. So I think we might just get a hotel room along the highway when we are just tired of driving and need some rest. The problem with that is that it costs money, money that I don't have. So the other option would just find a place to park the truck and sleep in the cab for a few hours. Although this sounds really adventuresome, it's not something I want to do for three or four nights. So I thought I might create a "Ian doesn't want to sleep in a truck fund" All donations will remain anonymous.

Another thing is that when I get to New York I'm pretty sure I have a place to stay for at least most of the nights I'm there. If it so happens that those plans fall through I have come up with an idea of how to both feed myself for the day and get a free place to stay at night. Well actually I have come up with a few different ideas, but they all have their draw backs.

One idea is to voluntarily check myself into a mental health ward each night and then in the morning check myself out. I guess the only problem with this is A: They might not take me. B: The food might suck. and C: They might actually determine that there is something wrong with me and force me to stay.

Another idea is to commit small acts of vandalism or public disturbances as to get myself arrested. Nothing major, just something that would cause them to hold me overnight then release me in the morning. I could even try and shoplift food. If I got away with it then I would at least have something to eat for the night. If  I got caught I would get fed and have a place to stay. I guess the only problem with this is A: What if I want to become president one day, this would not look good. B: Getting arrested might not guarantee a meal when I get to jail, what if they take to long to process me and I miss feedin time. and C: I would need to watch my corn hole.

So I think my final and best plan is this. I will go out to eat at some moderately priced restaurants and order a huge meal that will fill me up. Once I am satisfied I will try and run out of the restaurant without paying but doing so in such a poor manner that I will get caught. Once they realize I can't pay they will call the police and I will then be arrested with a full belly. So now I don't need to worry if I will be fed in jail I can just sleep a peacefull night in the slammer. I'm guessing / hoping that New York's criminal processing speed is pretty slow, so much so that they release me the next morning with a pending court date that is a few weeks in the future. I guess the only problem with this idea is A: They might start to catch on after arresting me night after night. I would need to go to different restaurants in different police precinct every night. B: I would still need to watch my corn hole. and C: What if some New York Judge decides to make an example of me.

I don't know, what do you think of these plans? Any better ideas? Want to help me not do these things? I swear I will if it comes down to it. So feel free to donate to the "Help Ian not get himself arrested so he has a place to stay and something to eat fund"